Friday, September 15, 2006


Here is an interesting article about a truck ad that uses Rosa Parks, 911, Martin Luther King, and the Iraq War to stir the fires of patriotism from within our tiny, Grinchy, jaded hearts. What I enjoy about it is that it's taking advertising to an entirely new level with entirely new points of view. I know I'm a tiny voice in a cacophony of screaming salesmen. This is total proof. Check it out:

1. Big trucks are no longer symbols for men who can't stand having tiny penises. I'm pretty sure that's part of it, don't get me wrong, but the primary urge is (of late) far more insidious. It seems that not buying an enormous truck makes you un-American! Sweeeet. My search for anti-suburban, anti-stupid, nihilistic iconography ends at my front door!

2. Icons of passive resistance should be used side by side along pro-war propaganda because most Americans are so completely clueless that they only know that MLK and RP were good Americans. They only know that because someone made movies out of 'em. However, they only saw the covers of the movies at the Blockbuster before they passed them over for "Armageddon" and maybe "The Great Mouse Detective". But what is important is that these colors DO NOT run. Especially if they're magnetically merged with the bumper of a truck that could house a small band of rogue pygmies.

3. John Mellencamp sucks balls. I'm pretty sure no one will argue this point with me.

The thing I'm beginning to love (at a distance) about advertising is that it is so completely shameless. We are the ambulances and they are the chasers but they have pie-charts and data on their sides, knowing what we want to buy at exactly what time, and worse, what we're trying to forget when we buy it. I wonder if they're honest with themselves about what they're doing? Do they come right out and say that they're going to work these bitches for all they're worth or do they nod knowingly at one another and allow the heavy air to settle on their souls vowing to some day, dust them off and take them out to the park? Is being human something they forgot to finish like an art project? Do they care that Americans are eating their shit up like a dollop of ice-cream on a piece of apple pie?

God this is going to be a good show when people wise-up. I say that laughingly. If people tuned into reality and stopped being a bunch of relativistic fuckheads abusing the perspective privilege, they'd be so depressed at what pathetic jerk-offs they are that they would probably commit mass suicide. And that would be bad for the economy I suppose. Unless you sell Kool-Aid.